Be Still.

Being still is possibly one of the hardest things for me to do. My parents tell me I’m ADD when we talk on Skype, because I have a hard time sitting there and just looking at the screen. I’m one of those people who always has to be doing something and that usually means I’m doing more than one something at any given time. Some friends of mine have also affectionately dubbed me ADHD, but I like to tell them that I’m not ADHD. I tell them I simply multi-task better than they do. Call it what you may but it all boils down to me feeling like I never am doing quite enough. I occasionally struggle to find my worth, and more often than not I seem to believe that doing more makes people love me more. I can’t possibly be the only one who feels this way though. A book stood out to me today on the shelf at Borders; it was called “Approval Addiction”. Well! There’s a book some of us may need to take some time to read. We get addicted to others telling us we’re doing good and we constantly need that approval. I know that tends to be true for me. What if things started to change in my life, and only one person’s opinion truly mattered?

God has been trying to teach me this for years, and I guess I just don’t catch on the fastest. He’s teaching all of us the same thing; it’s not about how MUCH you can do and how many people approve of what you’re doing. It’s about loving God and loving others, and obeying what God tells you to do. I try too hard and I get burnt out quite frequently, and in that state, I feel like I’m not going to do as much good as I could. Sometimes I feel that God is just telling me to slow down and rest in Him; to enter into a deeper intimacy with Him. The more I rest and let Him fill me back up, the more I can give back to those around me. Resting and being still is such an important part of being in a relationship with the Father. He loves me when I spend time with Him and love Him, and He loves me when I give that love back to others. His approval means more to me than anyone else’s opinion. Doing more doesn’t mean God loves us more- He already loves us! How incredibly awesome that is!! I don’t have to earn love! It makes my heart and soul long to rejoice that this amazing God loves me, just for being me!

Psalm 23 (NIV)

A psalm of David.

¹ The LORD is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
² He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
³ he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
for his name’s sake.
⁴ Even though I walk
through the darkest valley,^[a]
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.

⁵ You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
⁶ Surely your goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
forever.

God is teaching me to still my restless heart and just listen to Him. Everything else falls into place when I’m resting and listening to my Abba Daddy.

Casting Crowns- In Me

‘Cause when I’m weak, You make me strong
When I’m blind you shine Your light on me
‘Cause I’ll never get by living on my own ability
How refreshing to know You don’t need me
How amazing to find that You want me
So I’ll stand on Your Truth, and I’ll fight with Your Strength
Until You bring the victory, by the power of Christ in me

Love Dare

So I’ve been home for two weeks now and I’ve mostly been resting, spending some time with family and seeing some friends. Its been nice having time to rest and be with my family. This weekend was especially awesome though. I went to the Women’s Encounter at Life Center this weekend and it was great to connect with new people and soak in God’s presence!

When we got to the conference and signed in, we all got name tags with our name and a saying with them. The awesome part was that every little saying was unique to the person! Mine said “Bestowed with grace”. Love it! Everyone was also given a pair of comfy socks and a journal- another part I loved! (I think I loved it all though! haha) The worship all weekend was amazing and so was the speaking. Beni Johnson spoke during two of the sessions, and she spoke about fear and supernatural hope. One of the things that stuck with me the most was when she compared fear to a wireless bra. Apparently bras with wire in them cause scar tissue, so its recommended that women wear bras without wire in them (interesting, isn’t it?) She took that and said this: “Things that bind us up, tear us up.” Fear controls us if we let it, but God gives us a supernatural hope. This means we don’t have to live in fear! Awesome, right?? There’s so much I could write about, but I won’t. I really want to focus on one thing that caught my attention today. Let’s be people of hope!

Anne Stock was speaking in the third session about a book her niece has written called “1,000 Gifts”. It’s a book about learning to appreciate all the little things we tend to rush right past everyday- the gifts that God gives us that we forget to be thankful for. In the book, the author lists 1,000 things that she’s thankful for. It’s a great way to notice all the ways that God loves us! I think it’s pretty cool. So anyhow, Anne challenged us to something called a “Love Dare”. She asked us to start writing out the gifts that God’s given us that we’re thankful for. It’s sad what I’ve missed because I rush everywhere- but I want to stay awake every moment of everyday so I don’t miss anything anymore. So here’s the start of my 1,000 gifts:

1. Hugs from friends and family who love me

2. The smell of flowers

3. Letters in the mail

4. Sunsets

5. The way it smells after it rains

6. Godly role models

7. The “a-ha” moments my students get

8. Sisters and sister time

9. A good book on a rainy day

10. Hikes and waterfalls

11. Animals- small and big

12. Brother

13. Talking with good friends

14. Grandmas who love to spoil grandchildren

15. A shoulder to cry on

16. Someone to laugh with

So there it is! Are you going to take the love dare and start your own list? Stay awake and don’t miss out on the little things in life! “In giving thanks for the life I already have, I find the life that I have always wanted.” (Check out this verse—Ephesians 5:20)

During the conference we were given a verse- no one had the same verse. I adore my verse and I think it is very fitting to this stage of life that I am in right now. Isaiah 41:9-10 (NIV):

⁹ I took you from the ends of the earth,
from its farthest corners I called you.
I said, ‘You are my servant’;
I have chosen you and have not rejected you.
¹⁰ So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Days Go By

I’ve officially hit the one year mark in my stay here in Thailand- I know we all say that we can’t believe how time flies, blah blah blah, but it’s so true. Over a year ago I stepped on a plane not even knowing what to expect once I got to Asia. I tell people that it’s totally a God-thing that I made it here because I never have had any desire to live in Asia or teach English, and a year and a half ago I made a decision to come here and look at me now haha- teaching English and living in Asia. I sometimes think God has a good sense of humor.

For those I haven’t told, I am staying for another year! I just decided, and I really haven’t talked to many people about it, but I’ve been praying about this a lot recently. I love being here and I love my life right now, so I’m just gonna stay put. I’m coming home for 6 weeks in March and April so I have lots of people to see then! I’m so thankful for my family and my friends- you guys are beyond awesome! Thank you for prayers and cards- you make being far from home a lot easier!

Now for the life update:

This past month was hard- it wasn’t my first time away from home on a holiday, but it was my first Christmas away from my family. I definitely had my moments where I was ready to just come home and not live in Thailand anymore. Most of the homesickness from the holiday season has passed and now I’m at the point where I can make a better decision for myself.

December FLEW by- it was chopped up by so many long weekends and cancelled classes that we plowed straight on through to Christmas and got there before anyone knew what happened. I left to go to the Philippines for Christmas once work got out, and spent ten days there with my friends Jessica and Apples.

 

We spent about three or four days in Manila with Apples and her family. We spent Christmas with her parents, her brother and sister-in-law, and her super cute nephew Travis! We went to a candlelight service for Christmas Eve and then Christmas day was time just spent at home exchanging gifts. It was nice just to be able to relax and not worry about anything for a few days. The next week we left for Boracay! It’s a beautiful island in the Philippines, and yes, there are a lot of tourists, but I have never been to a more beautiful beach! The water was crystal clear and the sand was white. They make a point to keep the beach clean, and smoke free, so it was nice to walk around and there not be any trash around. We spent four days just walking, swimming, tanning and eating. Heaven! I loved being there and took a lot of pictures! You can see them all on my Facebook if you want: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?id=66504060&aid=2103654

We went back to Manila after the beach and spent some more time relaxing and hanging out. I was in Manila for New Year’s and it was awesome! Totally beats our 4th of July fireworks celebrations any day. Everyone sets off their own fireworks and everyone is awake (even the kids) until well after midnight. It was so cool to experience that with new friends.

These were going off right above us- crazy!

 

I flew back to Bangkok the Sunday before I had to go back to work and was glad to be back home in a city that was familiar to me. (It’s still weird that this is what I consider home now) I started back work on the 4th and I’m getting back into the swing of things. We only have two and a half more weeks of teaching, a review week, exam week, and then project and then this school year is finished! I have some in service to get through for a few weeks after that but that will fly by. I’m so close to getting to go home! I’m very excited- it’s been a LONG time since I’ve spent more than a week or two at a time at home. This time I get six (paid) weeks at home!! I can’t wait to see everyone!

I miss you and love you all SO much! I’m so glad God put you in my life! Blessings on you all!

Alyse

 

 

(it’s ok to be jealous)